"What about Nick then?" Dave reminded me."Oh God yes; I mustn't forget, I'm supposed to be meeting him in town this afternoon." That's not what I mean silly," Dave interrupted me. " I mean how come I'm an asshole for screwing you, but you're not an asshole for having sex with me." Not the same." I pouted."How come it's not the same?" He demanded. "You're engaged to the guy, and due to get married in a few weeks." It's just not the same Dave." I tried to explain. "Men are happy as long as they get regular sex, but women, sensual women that is, need some variety. They need the feel of different cocks inside them from time to time." Time to time for Christ's sake," he laughed out loud. "How many men have you been to bed with since you got engaged to Nick?I thought about it, remembering that I'd got engaged to Nick nearly five months ago."Eight," I told him trying my best to be honest."What about me." OK nine then," I admitted with a giggle. "But I'm going to stop the day I get married.". In truth, I was bragging, I was superior, superior because I could make mine. My hopping on the public-school bus was bravado of my stealth. Engaged at seventeen wasn't just because I wanted out of a dysfunctional household. I was bragging a man wanted me, superior me. Part of the reason I'd gone with Gary to see salt ponds was because he'd stayed by my window when the other girls flirted to distract him, proving my superiority.Initially, I had an inferiority complex with Julie. Her wealth and stable family contrasted unfavorably to my presumed superiority. She was the oak tree, I a mistletoe parasite, clinging in her branches. It was, a symbiotic relationship, my esteem enhanced by association with her wealth, she enhanced with me as an ornament.After her abortion, divorce, childlessness; my marriage, children, grandchildren, hubby’s successful business, our relationship shifted. I was the oak, she the ornament.Yet what had I done? I retained my proclivity to insert hidden.
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